More tranny stories later!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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