Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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