For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize