the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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