I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
