we made out on top of his cat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This is my gift to your gina
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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