Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
