the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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