why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
