I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize