I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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