are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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