Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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