i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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