oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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