Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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