he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
