it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
