just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize