addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
