found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
