i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
