this boner is exhausting
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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