I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
