She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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