I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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