Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize