The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
