so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That accounts for only three of the penises
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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