so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
