used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
