exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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