the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
