Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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