Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
