i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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