Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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