i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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