jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
