We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So squirting runs in the family.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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