god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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