Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She's the barista slut.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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