Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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