Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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