I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I skipped work to stalk him.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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