doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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