11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
