I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
