i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
