Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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