No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
