He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
