I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
