I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
