he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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