im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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