i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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