i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
