You really coming over, don't trick.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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