He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yo dont text me then not text me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
