At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
