yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I believe in your delicious
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
