Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
