what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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