i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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