Quick, to the slutcave!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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