WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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