Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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