if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
