How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
