i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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