Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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