he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
