Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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