He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
