somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
