i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
