I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
