What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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