I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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